Everyone has a story of how they got into music, how music makes them feel inside and for I long time, I felt disconnected from the “genuine” reason I got into music which messed up my whole practice routine and music life. I could not find the reason of doing something I enjoyed doing. Like a kid that lost her kite on a windy day, I lost the zeal to be myself in my music journey. Accepting it was one thing, but finding a solution that was whole new world for me.
So like wanderer, I went on a journey, a musical one and I figured that if I was going to find the reason I love music, I had to go down Memory lane. I remembered the first day I got my own saxophone, and even before that I remember how frightened I was, to the younger me, music wasn’t a hobby it was like therapy because I was all the trials of an 11yr old. I remembered how people would laugh and I didn’t feel supported. I also remember the people who believed in me and my musical abilities. As I grew older, I got lost, I felt like I was dormant, like I did not have direction.
I had to ask myself a lot if ‘why questions’. The memory lane told me where
I was coming from but not where I was going to, so the journey was not complete. Sometimes the only way to be grateful is to stop and count your blessings {even the bad times are blessings because it shows you made it}. I started writing all the things I wanted in my saxophone life, I needed to make my story to be in my name and not what the haters say.
The beauty of the story of how you got into music is that it is an underrated story of HOW IT ALL BEGAN. So yeah, the journey is not over but what I know is that along the way, I am doing what I love and being the best of me every step of the saxophone way. I am not a wanderer anymore neither am I someone looking for validation to feel good about myself. I am a saxophonist, connected to the things she love, ready to make good friends and make great music. The problem was trying to change the story of how I got into music and that made me feel disconnected.
Music to me is a healing experience, it’s a song from a soul that tells you to breathe. It’s like God holding your hand and telling you it’s going to be alright, and I should not be afraid or ashamed of that. So Dynami Sax Squad, what your reason for being a musician? What drives you to be the better version of yourself?
Written by Its just Ife Esan.
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